All About Orgasms

Orgasms are great, but are they essential for good sex?

No. Not even close. And if we didn’t focus on orgasms so much, we could enjoy sex much more. And ironically, many more women might find it easier to orgasm.

Of course, it’s great to have an orgasm during sex. And men usually do. Research shows that 85% of men orgasm almost every time they have sex. For women, however, the percentage is lower. Especially if they have sex with men.

Many women report that they enjoy sex even when they don’t orgasm. What means much more to many of them is foreplay.

How does a woman know she has had an orgasm?

What does a female orgasm feel like? The answer is often: "you’ll know when it happens." But I know that isn’t a very good answer, so I’ll try to explain it with an example.

Before that, I have to tell you that orgasms can differ from one another. It can be a clitoral, vaginal, or another type of orgasm. But women most often experience a clitoral orgasm.

When you have a clitoral orgasm, the muscles of your vagina, as well as the muscles of your uterus and anus, begin to contract. The average female orgasm lasts thirteen to fifty-one seconds. But not all orgasms are always equally intense. Some days they can be stronger, other days weaker.

What does sneezing have in common with orgasms? 

Many women say that a clitoral orgasm is comparable to the feeling when you sneeze. Of course, a hundred times less intense, but still.

When you feel a sneeze coming on, you feel a tickle deep in your nose. That tickle comes in waves, moving more and more to the surface. And you know how sometimes that feeling suddenly disappears? Well, you don’t want that, so you stop for a moment and focus on the tickle so it doesn’t disappear. It builds and builds until release comes. Just like opening a can of Coca-Cola. A pleasant sensation runs through your whole body, and the tickle spreads through your nose, followed by a feeling of release.

It’s very similar with orgasms. You can lose it just as easily, which is why it’s crucial that before the climax you don’t change anything – the pace, pressure and technique must stay the same for a woman to reach climax.

How does a man know he has had an orgasm?

With men, it’s all a little less complicated. Most often, orgasm is accompanied by ejaculation. When it isn’t, for example with a prostate orgasm, men describe feelings of pleasure that spread through the whole body and are incomparable to anything else. A prostate orgasm lasts longer and is more intense than a classic male orgasm.

Different types of orgasms

Did you know there are several types of orgasms?

There are actually so many different orgasms that different sources give different numbers. But to sum up, in women there are clitoral, vaginal and anal orgasms, and then there are also blended orgasms – these happen when you orgasm from the stimulation of several different parts of the body, and erogenous-zone orgasms – such as from the nipples.

That said, not all women are necessarily able to experience all of these different orgasms. Some, very rarely, can even orgasm completely without any external stimulation. Or they may have wet dreams – orgasms where you unconsciously orgasm in your sleep.

Men can also experience several types of orgasms, although slightly fewer than women. The best known is the classic ‘ejaculatory’ orgasm. In addition, there are also ‘dry’ orgasms, where ejaculation does not occur. Then there is the prostate orgasm and, similarly to women, a blended orgasm. And of course, we must not forget wet dreams.

Orgasms are complicated things

Sometimes women can really try to orgasm, and it just doesn’t happen. And then another time, you’re not even focused on it, and suddenly it’s there. The mind plays a very important role, especially for women. Something can very quickly ‘distract’ us and we’re no longer in the moment.

That is why foreplay is so very important. And on average, a woman needs at least 20 min to get aroused!

With men, it’s a completely different story. They have to try not to come too quickly. And if you ask me, that’s a little unfairly balanced ..., but okay.

Summary

Orgasms are great, but they are not the most important thing in sex. And if you want to become better in bed and also enjoy yourself more, focus on everything that is happening during sex instead of doing everything just to come. Don’t forget to enjoy the moment instead of worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet.